Once you accept that you, alone, are responsible for taking care of your children and yourself, you are ready for the next step. Step Two is to tell yourself the truth about your current financial situation. Everyone's situation will be different, but here are some examples:

• My husband has moved out of the house and will no longer make the house payment. I have not worked in five years, but even when I had a job I could not have afforded the house payment.

• I have stayed as long as I can in this shelter, and it will take two more years to get into assisted housing. If I can't find a way to support us, the children and I may have to go back to my batterer.

• I thought that we were pretty well off, but I don't really have any idea about our money. I'm not sure I even know how many bank accounts we have. I hope he had insurance.

• My partner has died without a will and, since we were not married, all of his assets will go to his children.

• I lived from paycheck to paycheck when I had a good paying job, and the jobs that are available now don't pay enough for me to live.

Discovering the whole truth about your financial situation usually takes a while. Most people in a money crisis are afraid to know, so they may put off learning the details as long as possible. One of the ways some people put off facing their reality is to just not open any mail that might be a bill. OPEN YOUR MAIL! Then, begin to put all of the bills, paycheck stubs, insurance cards or policies, and other money documents in one place. When you feel ready to face the truth, you will know where to start.

In order to be sure that you tell yourself the whole truth about your reality, why don't you write it down? If writing it seems just too painful, consider talking about it to a friend or family member that you trust.

Are you beginning to face the truth of your situation? If so, then go to Step Three.